Day 79: Body Bits
The highlight of my day was a late night dash to Tesco’s for a Snickers bar – I managed to resist the Maynards Discovery Patch Body Bits and Animals but the garish brightness of these bouncy point of sale packages managed to lift me enough to grab a photo for the day.
Yesterday was sluggish, today was like treacle. A warm and muggy day, a working day to put your shoulder against or if was your wont a day to sip coffee on a city sidewalk, sunnies on and face to the welcome warmth but instead I tipped over into the yawning maw of inertia and hopelessness. Today I had my first interview in 3 years, for a part time job. I was excited about it. A short bus ride away, a lovely character building, a small, dynamic, business looking for organisation and project managing for relocations and home renovations.
The short bus ride turned out to jagged stop start of a journey, through narrow residential streets, navigating double parked cars, facing off to burly trucks and stuck up the bum of a rubbish truck. Uncharacteristically I had given myself plenty of time so despite this edgy start I was still early but the tension of the trip left me raw. The interviewer was charmingly pleasant, the office was as lovely and welcoming as the pictures I had seen. There was nothing particularly untoward about our meeting but it felt like time had slowed down in the most unpleasant way as I watched each exchange between us like a slow motion rally, showing up minute imperfections, fraying thoughts, daggy cul-de-sacs of answers and my flat heavy responses. The soft sheen of sweat broke out on my face, a lazy dribble of it slide down my cleavage and the itch of my raspy linen trousers start to nag urgently. It could have been the replay of a winning ace but instead it felt like a car crash. I thought it would be a relief when it was all over but it was painful to feel all smashed up.
I work with the premise that my thoughts and feelings are not a true reflection of reality but I am glued in fascination and awe to the power of this one tiny event put under the microscope. To my ego so much more than a part time job is at stake rather it is a challenge to the status quo and it slams me up against the wall to show me who is boss. I observe what is going on and I keep on observing as the afternoon slides into evening and evening slides into Tesco’s and a dark night stroll with a Snicker’s bar. There is nothing to observe any more and the nagging day melts into the now.
100 Days of Awe is a playful project I set up to bring my attention to awe in my daily life. I see awe as wonder, a mixture of amazement and respect. I expect the experience of awe to be about perception shifting awareness and that demands a reframing of some sort. I am excited to see what will awe me on this journey.
Anne K. Scott is an imagination technologist, her work to teach, facilitate and deliver innovation for individuals and business. She is the creator of FindYourMojo a FREE iPHone productivity app. If you are interested in what intuitive coaching can do for you please do contact me. I support clients all over the world.