Category: Land Of Anne


Thank you Uganda

IMAG5879-001A little over a month ago I returned from my observational project with The Great Generation (TGG) in Uganda.  A trip that allowed me to give freely of my skills and talents because of your financial support.  This blog is my update and an open letter of gratitude to those who contributed financially and emotionally to my journey to Uganda.

24% of the population in Uganda lives on less than $2 per day. They lack skills, business know-how and the market knowledge to build and sustain success and achieve significant results. What they do have is motivation and a desire for change in their lives. I was exposed to people living in basic conditions with limited access to clean water and sanitation, I got to meet ordinary people with passion and determination who have created services and infrastructure to support their communities.  Personally I had the privilege of participating in a number of entrepreneurship sessions in Kampala, supporting the creation and delivery of a five day residential teaching forum in a rural district in Uganda as well as experiencing this stunning country.IMAG6569TGG creates experiential learning programmes to bring expensive and hard to access business expertise to communities with limited resources, to  challenge and transcend norms and assumptions and to stimulate fresh thinking for future creativity.  Your donation was key to ensuring that I was able go to Uganda to experience the work of TGG. The outcome is that I am now the first entrepreneurial associate eligible to support transformational leadership projects intended to enhance entrepreneurial capacity building in Uganda and in turn foster creative thinking and innovation for established multi-nationals and corporate executives.

The first week of my trip was spent working directly with a number of local partners in Kampala; many of these partners emerged from the HIV/AIDS crisis as health care centres and clinics. Although close to quarter of the population is impacted by HIV/AIDS, and in many places whole generations are decimated, the availability of retrovirals has completely changed the quality of life for patients and the new challenge is to empower people to proactively live rather than wait to die.Until recently of TGG partners were funded by charitable donations but the global recession and the introduction of the Anti-Homosexuality Act 2014 has seriously undermined cash flow.  This challenge has been turned into an opportunity as TGG and their partners are now choosing to focus on sustainability, the social enterprise model, capacity building and entrepreneurship.  Among other things the sessions we ran in August were used:
* to evaluate the appropriateness of a multi-national proposal for a new product pilot
* to design a new process to provide continuity of support for TGG partners
* to host a charismatic presentation from Charles Ocici, the head of Enterprise Uganda – a weaver of sound bits and inspiriational stories
IMAG5934What I observed is a huge enthusiasm for the concept of entrepreneurship in the face of a charity based legacy.   This is true not just for the partners and their beneficiaries but also TGG volunteers and the corporate organisations we spoke to.  TGG has over 8 years of experience in Uganda and many fantastic relationships.  One of the most exciting things I witnessed was the impact of putting the Ugandan head of a Teacher’s Training College in touch with Dr Hilda Mary Tadria, tge formidable Ugandan founder of a MEMPROW, a female empowerment programme.  In the space of 45 minutes these two woman, through a TGG faciliated introduction, agreed to incorporate a coaching programme for girls into the teacher’s education curriculum.
I got to see how an on the ground project nurtures leadership during the second two weeks of my trip to Uganda as I stepped in to support 12 volunteer UK teachers who travelled to Buikwe (on the shores of Lake Victoria between Kampala & Jinga) to create a 5 day residential forum for 150 local teachers.  This is a particularly deprived area where teachers, schools and pupls have been underperforming.
IMAG5953The 1st Buikwe Teachers’ Forum was created in 5 days. We worked directly with the Department of Education and were featured on National TV and in the Ugandan newspapers.  I was able to use coaching and training skills to focus on the synergy of our team and to keep us on track to set of powerful end results.  My love of structure came in handy to design a survey to collect data on the opportunities for entrepreneurship in schools so they can become self supporting and therefore inspire students to be self supporting.  We had overwhelming support for the survey and receive alot of data still to be analysed. A common goal across all the schools is to provide a meal a day for the children, there was good evidence of agricultural experimentation but no overarching support or understanding of the cycle of business.  The data we collected was handed over to the ASDHI, the Ugandan partner who initiated the education forum, to decide where they to focus attention moving forwards.   The forum was a huge success for everyone involved but there is a line to be walked between hand out and hand up.  There are plans to run a yearly forum and the intention of TGG will be to move towards an event that is sustainable locally and is an integration of Ugandan and external expertise empowering teachers and schools to realise their potential.
IMAG6563I was challenged by the working environment and the ambitious goals for the three week trip but I was transformed by the passion and heart of TGG volunteers, touched by the generosity and spirit of the Ugandan people and brought to tears by the acapella farewell on our last day. One of my loves is photographic reportage and I attach a link to an album I created of the trip https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10152690212714104&type=1&l=4f6f7da627
The work to do on the ground is overwhelming but I am reminded of Mother Theresa who said we cannot do great things on this earth but only small things with great love. The donations I received allowed me to pour my love into this one small project.

With love and gratitude.

Intuitive Tune Ups

I am travelling to Uganda at the end of this month to work with The Great Generation to support small businesses in Kampala.  I am fund raising to support this trip and am offering coaching sessions for every £100 donation to what I am calling The Uganda Project.  Due to the generosity of my donors I am have been able to create a bursary and am able to offer a number of discounted coaching sessions.  If you are struggling with something at the moment; a creation or perhaps a conflict or if you want an intuitive taster or tune up just drop me a note.

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100 Days Of Awe: Day One Hundred – Little Miss Blackberry

Day 100: Little Miss BlackberryIMAG5364In the scheme of things today is a cycle of life from sunrise to sunset, what we define as a day.  In the world of innocence and wonder a unique coagulation of energy and atoms that only exist in the moment but in the world of order and definition this is the last day of June and the last day of my 100 Days Of Awe project.  I make up it has a poignancy to it, a bitter sweetness as pleasure slips into the past, that there has to be a culmination, a pinnacle, an apex, a crescendo.  What I am making up creates tension; the need to capture an extra special moment as a fitting finale for this little project, the mental orchestration of classifying my moments of awe on some sort of scale, I am caught in a trap, putting the squeeze on myself.  I observe that where I am is diametrically opposed to what this project is about.  The project is about awe and wonder, an exploration of the multi-dimensional prism of my innocence and about revelling in each hermetically sealed bubble of the elixir of Now.  It is not about capturing something that is better or worse or about going somewhere different or displaying some new knowledge.  It is just a beautiful excuse to be fully present in the moment, to flex the muscle of surrender to just be.

Today was a day like many of my days on this journey; hunkered down at home, whittling away at my creations, focusing on the gentle extrapolation of the path to my end results.  Like a hound sniffing a scent there is something about getting ‘a job’, about putting structures in place to support my heart, it is a tightrope walk between seeing myself beholden to some authority outside myself and choosing to work because service is embedded in my Nirvana.  I know I will know it when it comes along, but until then I have to just keep sniffing my way, calibrating the long list of Gumtree and jobsite offerings against an inner compass.*  It is a task that triggers my anxiety, so many jobs, too little time and my day can so easily leak away into the void of the internet sucking the heart right out of me.  Against that suction I choose to take myself away to that place that has been a font of aweness on this journey; Wormwood Scrubs – a hole in the fabric of this city that allows in the drafty breathe of the heavens.  Moment after awesome moment unfold, which one to choose?  In the end I am drawn into the upturned innocence of this spunky budding blackberry and my imaginary world of anthromorphisation that shakes me loose of the clay of shoulds and supposed tos.  A beautiful pink and green moment of magic and I have an album of shots as a beautiful encore to this blog project too.

* Just a few days later I am offered a door to door canvasing job to sell organic box subscriptions for Able &Cole.  I am apprehensive, it is 100% commission, it is alot of leg work, I normally do not have the heart for sales.  But I love organic food, I am excited about a company that has a Zen room for Mindfulness practise and hammocks in the garden – who have a garden for goodness sake.   I am on the tightrope; my heart sings while my ego frets about my capabilities.

100 Days of Awe is a playful project I set up to bring my attention to awe in my daily life. I see awe as wonder, a mixture of amazement and respect.  I expect the experience of awe to be about perception shifting awareness and that demands a reframing of some sort.  I am excited to see what will awe me on this journey.

Anne K. Scott is an imagination technologist, her work to teach, facilitate and deliver innovation for individuals and business.  She is the creator of FindYourMojo a FREE iPHone productivity app. If you are interested in what intuitive coaching can do for you or your business please do contact me.  I support clients all over the world.

100 Days Of Awe: Day Ninety Nine – Oh My What Big Leaves You Have

Day 99: Oh My What Big Leaves You Have IMAG5463Sunday was a house keeping kinda day.  Still not really looking like Summer but nonetheless I thought it was about time to dig out my frocks and tee-shirts so it was off to resurrect them from my friend’s lock up tucked away in the world that rubs up against the sturdy pillars of the Westway – the throbbing arterial from Central London out west.  It is an unprepossessing corner of Kensington with workshops and garages beneath glowering tower blocks gashed through by the six lane motorway and the over ground underground Circle line.  I was surprised to see this giant leafed tree, with pointy acorn like buds.   I didn’t have my phone with me to take a photo.

At home it was cycles of washing and ironing and crafting of emails for my Uganda Project fund raising drive before being treated to a home cooked chicken dinner.  Dinner was indeed delicious and worthy of much awe but it was the leaves that caught my attention and stayed with me. It was the leaves that had me journeying back to the lock up not once but twice to try and capture photos worthy of a blog post and photos that would be useful for identification.  You see I had no idea what tree this might be, neither did a friend I asked.  I thought it can’t be that complicated.  This is not a botanical garden with rare and unusual species; this is a little kerchief of green in a concrete jungle.  I thought it would be fun and perhaps garner me some dendrelogical kudos to be knowledgeable but despite hours, well perhaps an hour or two, pouring over internet pictures and attempting to answer tree identification quizes I didn’t get very far.  This is a giant leaf about 20 cms long, it looks triangular with little spiky corners – like shoulder pads but that doesn’t seem to fit a recognised leaf shape template.  It isn’t quite a deltoid or a cordate, perhaps a cross between a saggitate and a reniform with pointy genes of a hastate.  Who knew that tree identification was so technical? I was hard pushed to describe the bark, kinda grey-brown and knobbled and the buds; well I wasn’t able to reach them let alone squeeze them to know their texture or contents.  I attracted attention even taking pictures of the tree – this is where people loiter and eat chips, where plastic bags glide around the side walks and strangers taking pictures of trees are deserving of suspicion.

No doubt there is someone out there who can identify this tree at the drop of a hat.  I thought I needed to be taken out of my misery but truth be told what this tree is called and how it is defined is just that – a definition, an ordering of data for orientation’s sake.  It doesn’t add to the magic of the tree, the uniqueness of it’s very existence, in fact as I discovered it all takes me a long, long away from it, away from that moment when I was lost in it’s big leaved-ness and it reminded of Little Red Riding Hood and the big, big eyes of the Big Bad Wolf.  Knowledge has a lot to answer for sometimes.

100 Days of Awe is a playful project I set up to bring my attention to awe in my daily life. I see awe as wonder, a mixture of amazement and respect.  I expect the experience of awe to be about perception shifting awareness and that demands a reframing of some sort.  I am excited to see what will awe me on this journey.

Anne K. Scott is an imagination technologist, her work to teach, facilitate and deliver innovation for individuals and business.  She is the creator of FindYourMojo a FREE iPHone productivity app. If you are interested in what intuitive coaching can do for you please do contact me.  I support clients all over the world.

100 Days Of Awe: Day Ninety Eight – Welcoming Basil

Day 98: Welcoming BasilIMAG5436Much and all as I was awed and astounded by the torrential waves of rain that swathed through Saturday, the grandiosity of it all was not easily captured by my camera.  Be assured that it was amazing, spilling from a dove grey sky in bouncing beaded curtains of silver raindrops.  Observing Summer in London over the past month it appears to be a different beast than normal, well, should I say expected.  Magnificent cloudy skies, buxom and voluptously blooming, warm underlays of days with assertive sandpaper breezes, and the rain; rushing on to stage in wailing tears of drama. The dropping skirts of heaven, shutting out the warmth of the sun, driving me to put my socks on again and at least once last week jumping into a hot shower to warm up.  Sounding decidedly aged I  admit I am still toasting my toes with a hot water bottle at night although I am sleeping with my windows open.

Anyway the highlight of my day was welcoming basil, a new addition to my window sill.  Now I love basil, the small and the taste and the soft cupped curve of those emerald green leaves.  One of my favourite juice recipes; beetroot, 2 x carrots, 1 x apple and ginger is something special with 3 or 4 sprigs of basil.  The thing is that a packet of basil in the fridge does not take kindly to being squashed or sat upon and more than once recently I have found a forgotten or mislaid bag of soggy mess only identifiable by it’s packaging.  A waste of food, a waste of money.  So why not try a living pot? Been there, tried that.  It didn’t work in fact I thought it was a supermarket con to get you to pay more for the illusion of having one-plant herb garden.  My experience was that the minute Basil saw me s/he wilted and drooped, withering faster than I could eat it and, I felt, was mortally wounded by each leaf that I consumed.  Last week, house sitting, changed everything; when I was introduced to a flourishing basil planet my first reaction was that my old pattern would play out, but catching myself predicting the future I consulted with my friend for a few tips.  He assured me maintaining water levels were key, not into the soil but rather in the holding container. I also decided that this was not about the tedium of doing what had to be done but rather would be a task of care and consideration.  Conversation became a natural addition into the mix.  I even used a few of the leaves, removing them with care and gratitude.  Obviously it is seriously worrying to see a grown woman kowtoo to a plant but I have to say it worked!  Over a week later that planet was alive and thriving. Reinspired; Saturday saw me, in between those wide, loose weave swathes of rain, dashing to Sainsbury’s  to buy my very own living pot sitting on a handpicked spot on the window sill in a special saucer which I keep topped up with water.  There is an orchid and mint for company, they all seem to be settling in together.  I am excited about the new addition to the family and softened by the kindness that s/he brings out in me.

100 Days of Awe is a playful project I set up to bring my attention to awe in my daily life. I see awe as wonder, a mixture of amazement and respect.  I expect the experience of awe to be about perception shifting awareness and that demands a reframing of some sort.  I am excited to see what will awe me on this journey.

Anne K. Scott is an imagination technologist, her work to teach, facilitate and deliver innovation for individuals and business.  She is the creator of FindYourMojo a FREE iPHone productivity app. If you are interested in what intuitive coaching can do for you or your business please do contact me.  I support clients all over the world.

100 Days Of Awe: Day Ninety Seven – Whistling Thistles

Day 97: Whistling ThistlesIMAG5320Oh my goodness and begorrah I fell in love with this pink haired, bristle faced thistle of a fellow on Wormwood Scrubs.  I could swear I heard him whistle and leer with all the innocence of a furry faced Sesame Street monster.  I am loving my attention to nature on this journey of awe, I am more alert to and conscious of the rhythms of the seasons.  I think I must previously have operated with an underlying assumption that noticing something was an arbitary, random event that coincided with a moment of lucidity, this clarity of seeing for a moment accompanied with an incipient guilt that I had been elsewhere, zoned out, not paying attention.  Now I just know I am privy to the petals of nature’s unfolding and whether what I am seeing has been there for awhile or not is neither here nor there.  I just receive what I am seeing with childlike delight and out comes my phone for a snap. That distinction is an extraordinary realisation that completely changes my experience and pleasure of life.  Stepping away from that inner judge and critic I can feel the tapestry of the seasons taking shape in front of me, my curiosity filling in the finer details.  The choice to seek out awe for 100 days is changing my relationship to myself.  I could go back to my old relationship but why would I want that when joy, inspiration and poetry is there just waiting to be received.

Thistles – Ted Hughes (c)

Against the rubber tongues of cows and the hoeing hands of men
Thistles spike the summer air
And crackle open under a blue-black pressure.

Every one a revengeful burst
Of resurrection, a grasphed fistful
Of splintered weapons and Icelandic frost thrust up

From the underground stain of a decayed Viking.
They are like pale hair and the gutturals of dialects.
Every one manages a plume of blood.

Then they grow grey like men.
Mown down, it is a feud. Their sons appear
Stiff with weapons, fighting back over the same ground.
100 Days of Awe is a playful project I set up to bring my attention to awe in my daily life. I see awe as wonder, a mixture of amazement and respect.  I expect the experience of awe to be about perception shifting awareness and that demands a reframing of some sort.  I am excited to see what will awe me on this journey.

Anne K. Scott is an imagination technologist, her work to teach, facilitate and deliver innovation for individuals and business.  She is the creator of FindYourMojo a FREE iPHone productivity app. If you are interested in what intuitive coaching can do for you or your business please do contact me.  I support clients all over the world.

100 Days Of Awe: Day Ninety Six – Lost Tying My Shoelaces

Day 96: Lost Tying My Shoelaces

IMAG5445Every day risks being lost; of being sucked up into the vaccum cleaner of obsession, trapped under the tomes of inessential activity or squashed between the cushions of oblivion.  On this journey it has been close; a Friday here or a Sunday there wracking my brains to write something meaningful and pertinent about a blurry picture of yet another bush or extrapolate something imaginative about an ill advised close up of one of my nostrils.  Fortunately thus far my creative genius has always uncovered a gem,  a photograph that resonates with my heart even if it has no meaning for my rational mind.  On the scent of an oily rag my writing engine comes to life and delectable swirls of chocolately words come spinning off the production line.  Well that is my experience of them, an energy that pours out of me, through me and then glides graceful to a completion in blog sized chunks.

95 days have dodged the bullet as a photo or a clear sliver of memory got the ball rolling.  The 96th day, a Thursday, is a blank; a memory lingered on Friday illusive like a recalcitrant balloon flying free on the breeze, taunting me with it’s closeness but ultimately floating further away as I waited for it to come to heel.  It seems I only have my email Sent box to give me any hint of my dithering on the day, shards of hamster wheel activity, a snowballing of inattention and awe and wonder go out the window.  It is only now as my confession emerges fully formed that I remember the intuitive session first thing in the morning that delivered my action for the day – to be zen, to pour myself fully into each of my activities, one at a time.  I remember now being fully with my tying my shoelaces like I probably haven’t been since I was 4 or 5 when I learnt the skill.  So present that I worried that maybe I would not be able to consciously remember how to tie them.  And now the picture comes.  Perhaps not so much a forgetting as a state of being, just being lived.  No need to capture, to prove.  Looks like my lesson with this project is coming to a close.

100 Days of Awe is a playful project I set up to bring my attention to awe in my daily life. I see awe as wonder, a mixture of amazement and respect.  I expect the experience of awe to be about perception shifting awareness and that demands a reframing of some sort.  I am excited to see what will awe me on this journey.

Anne K. Scott is an imagination technologist, her work to teach, facilitate and deliver innovation for individuals and business.  She is the creator of FindYourMojo a FREE iPHone productivity app. If you are interested in what intuitive coaching can do for you please do contact me.  I support clients all over the world.

100 Days Of Awe: Day Ninety Five – Waiting For Lunch

Day 95: Waiting For Lunch

IMAG5258I have a choice of cycle routes to Paddington.  On autopilot I usually travel to Paddington via Ladbroke Grove and Westbourne Park.  It is not an onerous route, traffic is not too heavy or aggressive and for the most part I can avoid the arterial channels of fat bottomed trucks and arse sticking motorists but coming back the canal route appeals.  From St. Mary’s Hospital, where I had my physio review*, it is cobbly ride down to Paddington Basin to the unboxed cleanliness of the chrome and glass concourse of the Paddington Station entrance directly on to the Regent’s Canal.  There is the coffee barge and the book barge and ordinary common place live a board barges.  It is quaint.  Sheldon Square is a hive of activity behind mirrored windows, canal side dining and drinking gently bubbling before the 5 o’clock boil.

Then Little Venice the trefoyle junction where Paddington Basin, the Paddington Branch of the Grand Union Canal and Regent’s Canal intersect.  Picturesque London, a tear drop of Amsterdam, now there is a dutch barge, cosy clutters of barges side tied and one or two houseboats asserting dominance.  There is a ribbon settlement of barges end to end for a mile or two and cycling is theoretically forbidden so it is a judicious journey giving pedestrians priority.  Then the cosy domesticity falls away and it is quieter, an eye in the storm of London.  A breathe of fresh air and peace or a something more sinister depending on your perspective.  My nature tends towards the latter and I am glad to be cycling; two hedge haired hippies shake their skinny hips and twined tied trousers to some silent music bracketing the towpath, a glassy-eyed youth with a can of Kronenburg loiters listlessly.  And then Mr Grey Heron, teettering on this rock, struggling to remain motionless to catch his prey.  A ungainly bird when launching into langrous flight more suited to a wide expansive of water.  His wings seem to skitter each side of the canal as he flys away irritated by my attention.

*I fractured my hip 18 months ago which led to 4 months effectively bed bound.  Soft tissue healing is much slower.  All hail & glory to the UK National Health System (NHS) and its unfailing support.

100 Days of Awe is a playful project I set up to bring my attention to awe in my daily life. I see awe as wonder, a mixture of amazement and respect.  I expect the experience of awe to be about perception shifting awareness and that demands a reframing of some sort.  I am excited to see what will awe me on this journey.

Anne K. Scott is an imagination technologist, her work to teach, facilitate and deliver innovation for individuals and business.  She is the creator of FindYourMojo a FREE iPHone productivity app. If you are interested in what intuitive coaching can do for you or your business please do contact me.  I support clients all over the world.

100 Days Of Awe: Day Ninety Four – Now You See Me

Day 94: Now You See MeIMAG5236It was a day of glimpses; magical sightings that I wasn’t able to catch on my camera.  First up this morning in the tree outside my window a large tawney mottled bird with a kerchef of red.  I immediately thought woodpecker though I have no idea how I would know that.  It wasn’t like this bird did any pecking.  Looking it up on the internet the closest I got was a Flicker which is indeed a member of the woodpecker family although a native of North America, rather than Britain.  Perhaps I was muddled and I saw a Greater Spotted Woodpecker or a Green Woodpecker but the red markings and the tawney mottled markings seemed different from the Greater Spotted and more distinctive than the Green Woodpecker.  My second glimpse was also a bird, a seagull.  They are regular visitors on the scrubs belieing our closeness to the sea in this city but it did seem out of place tagging me on my bicycle down Golborne Road at eyeball height.  A powerful glide and a steep curved decceleration to land perfectly in front of Golborne Fisheries and cast a beady eye about for a bit of pelagic delight.  And finally my ghost cat; chubby and a shimmering white in my gloaming stroll, she played up to my photo shoot while rubbing and rollicking for attention.

100 Days of Awe is a playful project I set up to bring my attention to awe in my daily life. I see awe as wonder, a mixture of amazement and respect.  I expect the experience of awe to be about perception shifting awareness and that demands a reframing of some sort.  I am excited to see what will awe me on this journey.

Anne K. Scott is an imagination technologist, her work to teach, facilitate and deliver innovation for individuals and business.  She is the creator of FindYourMojo a FREE iPHone productivity app. If you are interested in what intuitive coaching can do for you or your business please do contact me.  I support clients all over the world.

100 Days Of Awe: Day Ninety Three – Reflections

Day 93: Reflections

IMAG5161“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?” ~ Albert Camus

I knew this photo I took last week had a story to tell.  I didn’t realise it would be story about suicide.  I am glad that it was Albert Camus that posited the choice between suicide and coffee.  I don’t think I would have been brave enough to articulate my experience of dipping into suicidal waters in this way if he had not gone before me.  Suicide is not a subject to be touched lightly and I apologise in advance if anything I have to say appears frivolous or callous.

I assured myself that any contemplation of suicide on my part was dramatic posturing even though all the drama occurs in the privacy of my own head.  Over the years I have got used to the comings and goings of my inner drama queen; cue enter stage with a flounce and a huff  ‘WHAT is the point?‘ wail, ‘What have I got to live for?‘ gnash, ‘Look at all my failures’ followed by the a list of the ‘specials’ of the day and more wailing and more gnashing.  This little scene may be a matter of minutes or hours with variations on a theme.  On occasion it is a long rehearsal spanning days or weeks.  It is not a great place to be and there was a time when I believed this character that I was playing and wondered if I should be honourable and follow through.

I managed to ride the cycle without mishap until a raw conversation with Laura Kenyon*, an insightful homeopath, about 18 years ago now.  I knew I had to talk to someone about these feelings.  She gave me a perspective that has served me to take the charge out of this recurring drama.  She suggested to me that I was in reaction to the impact of circumstances beyond my control, that when life is not playing out as I would like there is a part of me that looks for something to take control of and comes up with this whole notion of taking myself out of life.  In this space I assume that my true value and right to be in life is predicated by external validation.  I observed the truth of what she said then and I see it each time this drama comes up.  I do not suggest that this is the same for everyone.

When I ask myself is this what I want to believe my answer is no.  I refuse to accept it as true.  Now this drama is a hook that allows me to acknowledge that life is not playing out in a way that gives me external acknowledgement or love.  Yes it feels real and if I am unwell or exhausted it is even more intense; I prefer to stand well back on the tube platform and avoid heights and knives.  I can see that suicide could just be a choice away – as easy as will I kill myself or have a cup of coffee? –  but the choice I make is to wake up and smell the coffee; to choose my heart and what I love in that moment, in the simplest of things.  I know now that there will be other times when I will face that question and have to make a choice. I don’t intend to take myself out but if I do please no angst for me , how could anyone expect to be there for me in that slow motion minute of that choice.

I have no idea whether my experience is true for everyone but in the past week I have had two conversations about suicide.  One with a friend who told me how they struggled with suicidal thoughts after a litany of financial failings and then suddenly realised that these thoughts were a control strategy.  With that realisation he was able to turn his life around, to stop his striving for financial success, to be and embrace the love he already had in his life.  Things are not easy but he loves his life, the work that he does and the freedom from working like a hound from hell.  The second conversation was with a friend whose partner committed suicide a few years ago.  It was a conversation we had never had, one in which my personal insights seem trite and irrelevant.  All I could do was listen.

I want to emphasis that what I share here is but a shard in the big picture.  I think there are as many different relationships with life and death as there are unique human beings.  All I write about here is what I am perceiving from the bunker of my reality.

100 Days of Awe is a playful project I set up to bring my attention to awe in my daily life. I see awe as wonder, a mixture of amazement and respect.  I expect the experience of awe to be about perception shifting awareness and that demands a reframing of some sort.  I am excited to see what will awe me on this journey.

Anne K. Scott is an imagination technologist, her work to teach, facilitate and deliver innovation for individuals and business.  She is the creator of FindYourMojo a FREE iPHone productivity app. If you are interested in what intuitive coaching can do for you or your business please do contact me.  I support clients all over the world.

*Laura practises at a number of clinics in London and the South East.